Is it possible to garden mindfully?
…when there is conflict, weeds, cross neighbours… my fig tree is as tall as Prince William, but my seeds have failed to sprout. Oh, and there’s a video, Sarah Raven’s Five Top tips, and a vegan recipe
It was all going so well. I bought four packets of cut flower seeds from the RHS, sowed them. Waited. Waited. Watered.
One tiny frond has emerged from the Bodie. This never happens to Monty Don. Perhaps the birds ate the seeds. Next, I get a letter from the woman in charge of the allotment. I am supposed to strim the weeds, as apparently the seeds can infect neighbouring plots. I feel like saying, well, my seeds don’t ever sprout. Take a look at this.
(My fig tree, on the other hand, is as tall as Prince William, though yet to have children. I bought it as a toddler – the tree, not me – from the RHS; top tip, never, ever buy plants from supermarkets. I bought several lavender plants last year from Lidl; they never grew, and all died over the winter.)
Then, a card through my door at the Vicarage, saying, ‘Dear Liz. We asked the volunteers who planted the community herb garden to clear some of the growth near the wall of your yard because of complaints. Would you prefer to garden that strip yourself? The Church Wardens.’
I’ve only just moved in! Complaints! How about, there is no God?
I call the number. ‘It’s just that people say it looks messy.’
Me: ‘I’ve only just moved in. I have a job.’ I say ‘I have a job’ about 10 times a day.
It was the same when I lost my lovely Georgian house and had to rent a house that was a section of a Grade I listed mansion, only with a Barratt Home interior. On my first night there, Sam, my very old collie, was confused by his new surroundings, slipping on the porcelain floor of the kitchen. I found him unable to get up, having wet himself. I put the younger collies in the garden out of the way, so that I could deal with Sam.
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
A creepy man was at the door. ‘Your dogs are barking in the garden.’
‘I only moved in today, they are excited. I am dealing with my old dog, Sam!’
As Bridget Jones would, say, ‘Bugger off!!’
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